About James N. Wiebe, M.S., LMFT

    I have been happily married since August 2000, and have two young daughters. I am a Christian, and do my work from a Christian-based perspective. For those of you who are curious if I, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, have the “perfect marriage”, let me go ahead and burst the bubble. I do not. My marriage is very good and my wife is one of the best people I have ever known, but we disagree and struggle just like every single other couple on the face of the earth. Relationships, even at their best, are sometimes messy. And my wife and have to push through conflict to resolution and connection just like everyone else.

    I earned a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from Abilene Christian University in 2000. I earned an Master of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from Seattle Pacific University in 2005. My credential licensure is LMFT, standing for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This means that I sat for and passed the National Licensure Exam for Marriage and Family Therapists, I have completed all of my academic and experience requirements, and have otherwise completed all requirements for licensure for the State of Texas.

My Philosophy of Therapy

We are relational beings - we learn and develop who we truly are and can be only in the context of relationships. And when problems arise in relationships, they must be repaired in context of the relationship. In order for this to happen however, each individual must work personally on the issues that pertain to their contribution to the problem in the relationship.

            In doing this, each individual must work to change their own attitudes and behaviors, and let their partner do the same. One person cannot wait for the other person to change first before they are willing to do their own part. This ‘chicken and egg’ mentality only delays or worsens problems.

There is certainly value in doing individual counseling. However, in most cases, issues that clients deal with almost always involve other people, especially those to whom we are closest. Therefore, involving everyone engaged in the problem leads to better, more meaningful, lasting changes. Sometimes that means working with individuals, couples, combinations of parents and children, or even whole families together to get the problems resolved.

In therapy, I sit with people in what are often some of the most difficult circumstances they have ever faced, and we work together to figure out what needs to change. Going to therapy doesn't mean that your relationship is at the precipice of disaster or that you are a failure - it means that you are looking realistically at a situation that needs some outside involvement.  Going to therapy also doesn't have to mean that you are weak, crazy, unable, or broken. It means that you have the strength, courage, and self-awareness to know that you require some assistance is solving the problems you are dealing with. Going to get relationship therapy simply means that you've tried what you know, and it isn't working the way it needs to in order for everyone involved to be satisfied. 

As an experiential therapist, I believe that change occurs in the session, but solidifies outside of it. We will discuss issues and possible solutions, sharing personal perspectives, feelings and ideas. However, to create real changes, clients need to take and apply new skills to real-life situations at home because that is where it really counts. What we do during a session is important because it creates awareness and initial change, but even more important are the things that clients do in the other six days and twenty-three hours during the week when they are together. That's where life happens, and where conflict occurs, so that is where real change must happen too.

 In therapy, I use a variety of methods including regular between-session homework, two-way discussion and response techniques, in-session skills practice, and others. I work from a Christian-based perspective, but am sensitive to other spiritual practices and beliefs as they uniquely affect each person and situation. In some ways, therapy is a spiritual experience because as we open up the most pained and sensitive parts of ourselves to the people who can have the deepest impacts on us, either for good or bad, we expose our souls to each other. If we do this in ways that are constructive and useful, we can not only create change, but we can deepen relationships through the fact that we went through and came out the other side of deep struggle. That is really what therapy is all about - resolving conflict, and deepening and restoring relationships.  

 

                To find out more general information about the field of Marriage and Family Therapy,                         please feel free to visit the following links:

                 http://www.aamft.org/index_nm.asp

                 http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/mft/            

Complaints/Reports:  If you need to file a complaint against a DSHS licensee or certificant about a harmful or threatening situation, or if you need to report a possible  public health threat, please call 512-458-7111.